Growing, Learning, and Enjoying Every Part Of It.

Monday, June 29, 2015

Baby Bump: Update 1

Hi, everyone!

I'm TIRED!! Update:

So, we found out that we are pregnant with one baby. One of my embryos didn't implant. Initially, we were a bit disappointed when thinking that one of our fertilized frozen embies didn't make it, but we accepted it as God's will and have moved on happy about our singleton baby to come!

I've felt this pregnancy for what feels like the entire time since implantation. Before our sonogram I swore I could have been pregnant with two or three because my energy is GONE. Now, not only do I have no energy, but I also have a constant headache, nausea and gas issues. The drugs also gave me every single side effect this time. Let's just say it has not been a fun few weeks.

I'm still so thankful for the opportunity to grow our family, but I have to admit that I'm ready for all of these symptoms to go away. I have been so worthless around the house. It's downright shameful.

We go in for our first official ob visit tomorrow. I can't wait to see the baby again and hear his/her's heartbeat. Hopefully, that will get rid of some of my complaining. 

9 weeks 3 days
symptoms: headaches, nausea, gas, fatigue
cravings: none
food aversions: sweets

That's it for the baby bump new for now.

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Happy June

It's the smack dab middle of the year! Usually, I'm writing about how I can't believe the year is half way finished. Well, this year I can believe it. I'm not sure why, but things seem right on schedule this year; not too fast or too slow.

I did well with my goals last month with the exception of the gym. I think my bed rest threw me off. I'm resuming tomorrow. 

June's personal goals:

1. 12 visits to the Gym
2. Reduce my carb intake. I have been heavy handed on the pasta and bread lately
3. Finish reading Life Interrupted and start on Better Than Before, and find a fiction read.
4. Do 3 random acts of kindness.

That's it. The hardest part is going to be these carbs...whew.

Thursday, May 28, 2015

Thankful Thursdays

I have so much for which to be thankful. And, I'm not just talking about material possessions. 

1. I'm thankful for my growing family. To have once thought I didn't want any kids, to only wanting one, to yearning for more with no mate in sight, to not being able to conceive naturally, to having twins and being pregnant with another....whew, I'm blessed. Thank God for having the ultimate plan!

2. I'm thankful for my husband. For his ability and willingness to provide for our family in a way that allows me to be at home with our babies and not have to send them off every day. 

3. I'm thankful for my consultant gig. I was going through an internal battle of missing my career, but wanting to be with my kids, and not knowing how to reconcile the two. Well, God dropped a great opportunity right in my lap. It has shown me that there is no internal battle to be had. My kids are where I want to be. I still enjoy my work, but it can wait on me. 

4. I'm thankful for this temporary infusion of extra income, and the possibility that we'll be able to buy my new minivan with cash and not have to deplete ourselves. 

5. I'm thankful for my neighbors. They are so genuine and caring. They aren't sorry for being white, which is quite refreshing. And, they care about my family, and I care about theirs.

What are you thankful for today?

Wednesday, May 27, 2015


Friday evening I went to an event at church with some of the ladies from my life group. The event topic was Friendships. I've been thinking about friendship for a while, but my mind has been in overdrive about it since Friday. 

I've always had a healthy friendship life.  When I was 14, I met three wonderful girls who became my best friends. I broke ties with two of them right after my wedding. And, then one of them reached out, apologized and asked if we could try to repair the damage. I agreed, and we are getting closer by the weeks. 

It was painful to go through that friendship break-up because I truly loved them, trusted them, and considered them my sisters. Without really realizing it until Friday, I have been reluctant to embrace or nurture new friendships since all of that happened. That's not even like me. I love people and I love creating new relationships. I had been yearning for more closeness and friendship with people in my area (my best friend lives in another state), but I didn't realize I was subconsciously refusing to participate. 

I'm now trying to figure out how to overcome the fear of being betrayed again. I don't really know how to be "kinda" friends. I'm usually in or out. So, I don't want to go in and get hurt. I know, though, that just like when I was dating, I have to keep giving it a shot. No risk, no reward.

So, since Friday I have joined a new meetup group, and I actually plan to attend an event. I plan to reach out to people here, who I haven't given much time to, but should have because I actually like them. 

I'm going to try and remain cognizant of pushing people away, or not giving to a potential relationship what I want to get out. 

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Frozen Babies Update - Positive

I was scheduled to go in for my pregnancy blood test on Friday, but I couldn't wait. I promise I tried. Mr. RFA even told me that I was forbidden from taking a home test. I was fine until Wednesday. All of a sudden, I just needed to know. I whined to him about it all day. Trying to convince him that he wanted to know "right now" as well. 
Finally, that night he agreed to go get me a test. Once I actually had the test, I was too nervous to take it. After he assured me I was acting nuts, I justed pee'd on the thing. But, then I couldn't look at it. I gave it to him and he sat there staring at it until he jumped up with a smile on his face, but no words coming out of his mouth. I grabbed the test, read PREGNANT, and we jumped up and down together.

Friday I went in for the blood work, and the doctor later that day with the same news - Pregnant. 

Today, I went in for my follow-up test to make sure my beta numbers are growing. 

I think I was starting to get nervous because we were walking around talking like we already knew we were pregnant. I didn't want to take the process for granted or be too over confident. Just because the last time went to so well didn't mean I wanted to miss the miracle of this. And, I was on the internet reading too many negative stats on frozen transfers.  I'm so very excited that our result is what we imagined. I'm so thankful to God for blessing me with another pregnancy. I definitely still see the miracle in it all!

Now for the long wait to find out if one or both of our little frozen babies implanted.

Thanks for your prayers!!!

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Ava Says Jesus!

A couple of nights ago Ava didn't want to go to bed at her standard bedtime. The both usually go down without any problems, so after 15 minutes of her screaming I figured I better go see what was wrong. Nothing was wrong, she just couldn't calm down and go to sleep. I tried for 30 minutes to rock her, but when I stopped, more crying. I decided to take her to our room and cuddle with her to see if she would fall asleep and then I could take her back. I don't mind doing this because the girls don't like sleeping in our bed, they much prefer their cribs, so I was hoping it wouldn't take long before she would want to be back in her room, lol. 

Well, instead of getting tired, she became a chatterbox. So, I pulled out the camera to record her. Watch the whole thing. She says the sweetest name, Jesus! She's so cute!

Happy Tuesday!

Monday, May 18, 2015

My Frozen Babies - Update

I'm late on this post. I wanted to write it while on bed rest, but somehow I found a way to get busy doing other stuff. So, I had my Frozen Embryo Transfer on Wednesday of last week. The actual transfer process was much fast this time. I drank just the right amount of water, and my uterus was in the same position it was in during my trial transfer, so everything worked out beautifully. 
The sad part is that Mr. RFA wasn't in the OR with me this time. Our babysitter canceled at the last minute and every single person we know who could have possibly done it has kids that they have to get to school in the mornings, so it wouldn't have worked. I was a bit sad that he wasn't in there. We did bring the girls to the hospital with us, though. They were with me while I was getting ready and waiting, but not for the actual transfer.

Let me focus on the positive. Everyone was still so nice. It was the same staff that was there two years ago. The embryologist came in and showed us the picture of our two remaining embryos. They both thawed out beautifully, he said.  I was surprised by the picture, though. They look so different from Ava and Zoe's embryos. He assured me they were fine, it's just that embryos look different after being thawed versus Fresh.  Here's the picture:

I have no idea how to turn the picture the right way.

So now I'm in the "wait phase." I go for my pregnancy blood test on Wednesday. I'm so tempted to go buy a bunch of home pregnancy tests and take them every day, but I will resist. Mr. RFA has made me promise. 

Symptoms: I have been having period like symptoms since the day after transfer. I'm hoping that's a great sign of implantation. I guess I'll find out soon enough.

Stay tuned....

Monday, May 4, 2015

The Second Journey Update

I had to go into the doctor this morning. I had a sonogram to check the lining of my uterus. The thickness is great right now. 8.3 mm!!! So, I'm all set to move forward with my transfer on next Wednesday. I'm still trying to turn it all over to God and not worry about any of it, but I find myself nervous about the thawing process. I just want my little embryos to thaw perfectly. I only have two left and I'd like to bring them both home in the form of healthy babies in 9 months. I'll stop the worrying.

I did get a follow-up call after I left the doctor's office about my estrogen levels. Apparently my levels are a little lower than my doctor likes, so I have to increase my estrogen patches. 

We haven't told Alyssa about this second journey. I just want to surprise her with the news when we get a positive test result. Hopefully, she'll be semi-happy, or at the very least not disappointed. I'm not sure she is ready to share her mommy with even more littles, but such is life when you have a young mom who has dreams of raising a tribe of wonderful people!

On the details of this whole journey. This time we aren't using our insurance. They've increased IVF benefits, but at the same decided that they would create a program  in which I would have to enroll and check in with their phone nurses every week, and also go one of only two facilities they deem "Centers of excellence" in my area. My doctor's office is not on that list and I wasn't willing to build a new relationship with a doctor who isn't familiar with me or my medical history, and have my frozens transferred to their office. I was so emotional and upset when I first found out about this new change. I mean, there should have been an exception for people who already had embryos frozen with someone else. I don't understand how they just didn't consider the actual human element to this decision.

Thank God the frozen process is much less expensive than the fresh cycle. 

Friday, May 1, 2015

May Goals

With a new month brings new goals. I haven't shared my monthly goals on the blog in forever. I have pretty humble goals for May, but they are goals that require my conscious effort, nonetheless.

1. Read one book (I remember when my goals were to read 3 books a month...LOL, how times have changed) - I plan to read "The New City Manager - A Study in Government Ethics." It should be a quick read, and it's one I planned on reading when it came out and just never did.

2. Re-arrange the upstairs playroom - The playroom gives me hives. The girls have the ability to destroy it in 5.5 seconds flat. I need to use the space better and take out all of the toys they don't use anymore.

3. Go to the gym 3x per week. I'm committing to 12 gym visits this month. I got this!!

4. Complete my closet purge by donating unwanted items and selling those that are still in good condition through online consignment.

That's it...short, sweet, attainable goals!

What are your goals for the month?

Wednesday, April 29, 2015

Smile Worthy

Some things that are making me smile these days:

I'm exactly two weeks away from our frozen embryo transfer. I'm super excited and ready to carry more life! 

I'm a part of a great group of moms on facebook. We're all friends of friends of friends. One person started the group and others kept inviting moms they knew. We've since closed the group to new members because our dynamic so nice and we've started to share private things with each other. I'm so excited because in July we are going on a retreat together in the sweltering heat of Arizona. I can't wait to meet many of them in person!

Alyssa will be 17 on Saturday. I can believe it, but I kinda can't at the same time. She wants to do what she does every year - have dinner at the cheesecake factory. I've been over that place for years, but I keep going for her, lol.  I still haven't gotten her gift. I'm confused about what to get.

I've decided that we're getting a minivan. I have been delaying the purchase of new car for the past year. We don't have car notes, and I would love to keep it that way, but alas, a growing family requires more than our 4 door sedans can offer.We both adamantly said we would never, but now we are both eating our words. Well, just me...Mr. RFA is still team big SUV.  The thought of having to deal with 3 or possibly 4 car seats in a SUV gives me a headache. I just don't see how it's done conveniently. I'd rather be able to kind of get in the back to help everyone get buckled in, as opposed to having to stand outside and lean over. I had my heart set on the new Pathfinder, but now I'm slightly obsessed with the Honda Odessey and Toyota Sienna. I can't believe I'm going to be the lady with the minivan and a brood of young. Hahahaha...God has incredible plans!

I got my first consultant check from this temporary gig I'm doing. It's so sad, but extra money is one of the things I truly miss about working. It felt so great seeing that deposit in the account. I really wanted to do unspeakable things like go have lunch at Fogo de Chao, shop til I drop online and in store, and buy the three girls a new summer wardrobe. I didn't, though. I just let it sit there, lol. 

My Pastor recently started a series on the book of James. We are going through verse by verse as a church body. I love when the series are more like bible study. I also listen to my former California pastor, Paul Shepard, on podcast. He also recently started a series on the book of James (what are the chances). It's been a real treat to get two perspectives on the same book from two wonderful Pastors. I think this series is going to effect some great change in this season of my life!

What's making you smile right now?

Monday, April 27, 2015

Getting Organized

With so much going on right now, I really feel unorganized. I feel like everything is closing in on me. I tried talking to Mr. RFA about this on Saturday, but he just told me it would be fine because it's all temporary. He told me to revel in my busy-ness because when I go back to only having a couple of things to do (home and kids) I'm going to complain about not doing enough. His words didn't exactly help, so I just thanked him for the encouragement and left it alone.

The first thing on my list is to get the house in order. I keep a tidy home, but I feel like clutter is slowly creeping in. I hate clutter, and I hate dirt. I'm starting by working through my closet. I'm going to do a wardrobe capsule. Basically, I'm taking EVERYTHING out of my closet and only putting back in the things that I can wear right now AND love 100%. My goals is to have 37 pieces (including: shirts, cardigans/blazers, skirts, pants, dresses, and shoes; not including: scarves, belts, hats, and other accessories). I know I don't have 37 pieces that I 100% love and can wear right now, so that means I will be shopping soon for some staple pieces.

I'm hoping this process will help me declutter and allow me to actually see that I do have clothes to wear. 

After I finish my closet, I'm going to move on to the Guest Room's closet. It has become a storage of sorts and I hate it. Every time someone comes over, I have to push everything to one side in hopes of giving them a sliver of space to hang their clothes. I'm just going to go ahead and get rid of the junk that's in there. We NEVER use it. 

Then it's on to Alyssa's closet and then the closet under the stairs. 

I will conquer this clutter, one room at a time!!!

Have any of you tried a wardrobe capsule? Any tips would be much appreciated. Any staple  pieces that must be apart of a grown-up wardrobe??

Wednesday, April 22, 2015

The Goings On

Is anyone out there????

Well, here goes. Instead of doing a full blown update on our lives since October 2014 (the last time I blogged), I'll just update as I go. I plan to start back writing regularly.

Right now, Alyssa is 10 days away from being 17. Can you believe that?? When I started blogging she was just 9 years old. Now she is a young lady. It makes me want to cry just thinking about it. She is in the midst of all things College related and Senior Year. Her junior year is winding down and she is consumed with her choices right now, regarding everything. It's so sweet to see her being so responsible. I'm a proud mama.

The littles are 16 months now...remember when I was trying to get them They are everything! Simply everything! Sweet, whiny, smart, adventurous (Zoe), cautious (Ava), curious, and did I mention, super sweet?!?! They love giving hugs and kisses to mommy, daddy, and big sister.

Right now, I have a ton on my plate, and I'm still trying to get it all organized.  For starters, we are in the midst of second IVF round. After our first round I had two embryos remaining. We decided to freeze them and now we're going to get them out of the freezer and, God willing, add them to our family.  We've decided to transfer both embryos as I would like this to be my last pregnancy. I want to have as many as God will give us, I just worry about being cut open so many more times.  This will be our last IVF pregnancy, though. Any others will have to be a result of God opening my tubes, lol. If our frozen round doesn't work, we'll do another full, fresh cycle, but I'm praying it doesn't come to that.

Also on the agenda, I re-opened my wedding planning business. This time I have a business partner (another twin mom), and we changed the name and did a whole branding effort. It has been an interesting experience thus far. Having a business partner is not what I expected, but I think I'm getting used to some things and I have faith that we'll do well together.

I've also just recently (last 2 weeks) started working part-time with a former colleague who needs an interim director for a few months. I love being back in the local government realm, but I also miss my babies for the few days a week I'm away. Luckily, my husband works from home and the girls stay with him and don't have to go to a daycare.

I've also started working on a Tot School curriculum for them. My ultimate goal is to start a homeschool preschool co-op with about 4 other moms when the girls turn two. Right now, my plan is to begin them on a Tot school curriculum and schedule two days a week beginning when they turn 18 months through 24 months. Building a curriculum is overwhelming, but it's also fun and informative. There are so many things I never thought about with Alyssa. I thank God for the internet and pinterest for great ideas, learning themes, and activities.

I'm also on the Arts Commission in my community (I have to stay connected...I can't help myself, lol). It's a fun commitment, but requires time nonetheless.

Again, I'm trying to get my life fully organized, so I can run like a well-oiled machine.  By the time this consultant gig of mine is finished, I think I'll have a plan fully completed and ready to go!

I trust you all have been great!  Tell me what's been going on. I'll try to get caught on reading your blogs over the next week or so :).