I’m addicted to soup. I think both babies must love it. I have always liked soup, but I’m in love with it right now. I think about it every day. Is that weird? Oh well. I’m thinking about having a soup cooking week. I will make lentil soup – I’ve mastered the recipe from carraba’s. It is the absolute best lentil soup. I think I even make it better than they do now. I also want to make bake potato soup. A few years ago when Alyssa and I were doing that cooking challenge, I made homemade soup for the first time…it was baked potato and from that point on I haven’t purchased another canned soup. I also want to find and make the recipe for Olive Garden’s Zuppa Tuscana. OMG…I have been eating that at least 3 times a week for the past two months. I’m such a junkie. I know I can make this myself…I just know it. I also want to try my hand at a really hearty vegetable soup. Then I’m going to scour the net looking for other interesting recipies. The thing is that Mr. RFA doesn’t consider soup to be “real food.” He sees it as an appetizer. So I’m going to have to cook “real” food for him.
My mother is moving back to Florida to live with my granny. Within the last month I’ve written and deleted at least 3 posts about the relationship between my mother and me. It emotionally and mentally drains me to think about it all. I give up somewhere in the middle and try to focus on other things. In a nutshell, it has been bad. I’ve felt like a punching bag and she feels abandoned. I’m frustrated and she is sad. I know something deeper than us is going on, but I’m allowing my frustration and immaturity in this area to hold me hostage where I am. I’m going to try to write about it again…in a month.
One of my favorite blogs and daily reads is the Happiness Project Blog. A while back in early June or May she posted this quote, “There is an Indian proverb or axiom that says that everyone is a house with four rooms, a physical, a mental, an emotional and a spiritual. Most of us tend to live in one room most of the time but, unless we go into every room every day, even if only to keep it aired, we are not a complete person.” –Rumer Godden
Then she asked her readers in which room do they spend most of their time. The answer came right to me. Most of my time is spent on mental with emotional be a close second. This has been the trend for a few months now. Prior to that it was physical and spiritual, especially during our trying to conceive times. I think, like most people, my attention to each ebbs and flows. I want to give them all the necessary attention they need understanding that equality is not realistic or necessary to be whole. I do need to at least make sure I go into each room every day, though. This is going to be my self-imposed challenge for the next 30 days.
We closed on the sale of our house on Tuesday. Shockingly, I wasn’t sad about it. I’m excited about new beginnings. We are currently living in one of the apartments we own and will do so until we close on the purchase of the new house at the end of next month. This moving out of the house and moving into the apartment has made everyone’s stress levels rise. My husband yelled at me yesterday and I cried like a little baby. He has only yelled around me, never at me, one other time and that was because some crazy road rager started following us. Alyssa is stressed because now she has to wake up extra early to make it to vball camp for the next two weeks as it is an hour away from where we are temporarily living. Not to mention her friends being so far away. I’m stressed because it’s budget time at work, I get home late or super late every night, I haven’t been much of a wife or mother the past few weeks, and I’m ready to be back in comfortable surroundings. My husband is stressed because he’s had to play Mister Mom/Mrs. Wife and handle pretty much all of the details of the sale of both properties and the purchase of the new one with little to no help from me. The three of us have talked about all of the changes happening as a group and individually. We all know that we are on edge more than we should be, but when it comes down to it, no one is cutting the others any slack and attitudes are all around.
I’ll end on a happier note…I found out that one of the girls I used to work with is also pregnant. She got married a year before me and we used to talk about wanting to have children and our struggles. I’m so happy she gets to experience motherhood!