Growing, Learning, and Enjoying Every Part Of It.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Words From Granny

On my drive into work this morning I decided to call my Granny. I usually call her on my way home, but she fell on my mind this morning. She answered the phone more chipper than usual.  It instantly made me smile to hear the joy in her voice. All too often she sounds disgruntled when she answers. See, she hates the phone unless it's one of her Grankids calling. Once she hears me say, "Hey, Old Lady!" she instantly perks up. But, today she shocked me.
 
I told her how great she sounded and she told me that she felt great. My Granny is a talker, when talking to peopl she likes. She went on a 10 minutes story of the salmon patties she made last night for dinner and the smoothie she made this morning with her bullet. She was so impressed with her greenbean, spinach concoction that she couldn't contain herself.
 
I told her that I got the new job offer and had accepted.  She said she knew I would, but then her tone changed. She told me that I need to stop switching jobs and that I need to relax my body and stay still for a while. I just listened. She told me that I had a good job and that I need to stop leaving these good jobs. As with each new position I get, I tried again to explain to her my career, career goals, and the differences between her generation's outlook on Jobs versus my generation's outlook on Careers. And, just like she says each time I say that to her, she told me that "Thangs ain't changed that much. You better be still."  I had to remind her that I'm not relocating this time.  She has come to equate my acceptance of new positions as a move to another part of the country, and rightfully so.
 
I usually respectfully dismiss her thoughts on job loyalty and living in the same house for 30 years, but today it lingered in mind beyond the phone call. I'm not sure why.  I've been trying to explore why her words are still lingering. I know it's not because I think I should stay with the same employer for 20 years, or that I have to live in my current home for 30 years.
 
Maybe I'm thinking about it because I am ready to stay in one place (living, not working), but I know that more moves are in our future....at least I think so. I know we both want to leave Texas (so we say, but there are days we both slip up and discuss 15 years from now and Texas is in the picture), but we cannot for the next 3.5 years.
 
Maybe I just want to feel like I should stay in one place because that's what "normal" people do. Maybe I feel bad that I don't agree with my Granny's take on things.
 
I don't know. I'm going to keep exploring her words and my emotional response to them.

Spring

Happy First Day of Spring!
 
With the start of a new season I want to try some new things:
 
1. Read for 2 hours a day. I've been so busy between work and the wedding business that reading has slipped away from me again. I have about 5 books that I want to read, so I need to get on it. (This is also one of my goals for the year)
 
2. Call my valued relationships once every 2 weeks. I have neglected talking with my uncle at length for months now, and I miss that. I also have to do better with my mother and a couple of my friends. This season will be a new start for me to nurture these relationships.  (Also a goal for this year)
 
3. Get friendly with the eliptical.  Once pregnant, it's going to be my friend over running.
 
 
As new things begin, old things end. Here are some things I need to let go:
 
1. Tv time. Over the past several years I go back and forth with Tv addiction. Addiction sounds harsh, but I actually think it's true. I watch it way too much. I've asked my husband that we get rid of cable, but he is obsessed with football and basketball and wants cable for those sports seasons. So basically, year round.  I have to find a way to fight the battle anyway.
 
2. Laziness. I'm becoming more lazy with domestic duties. I still cook every night and do laundry, etc., but I notice that I take longer to do those things, and I'm pushing more on my daughter and Mr. RFA. The teenager complains, he doesn't, but I don't want it to get to the "complaint" level.
 
 
 
So there it is...the old and the new....the beginnings and the ends.
 
Happy Spring!

Tuesday, March 19, 2013

TTC Tuesdays - Week 23

Happy  Tuesday!

Today I am on CD9.  I've been taking birth control fo 7 days, and both of us have been taking antibiotics for 5 days.

I haven't noticed any side effects from the birth control nor antibiotics. My body is taking it all in stride right now. However, my husband is having about every side effect listed on the antibiotics. I feel pretty bad for him.  He is having headaches, nasseau, and everything else. I'm glad we only have 5 days left for that one.

We were looking through our paperwork again and was reminded that during this process we have to use condoms.  Mr. RFA thinks that requirement is an abomination against marriage. I'll reserve comment on the matter, lol. I will say though, it's ironic that things people use to avoid kids are things we are told to use to create a good environment for my uterus to carrry babies. This whole process is just so intriguing.

During this process I will be on a total of 8 medications at different times.  We because fertility drugs aren't typically sitting around at your local pharmacy, and because they cost unholy amounts of money, My RE's office uses a mail order company. We called them, gave insurance information and are awaiting our estimated  out of pocket cost. I asked the lady on the phone what would be the price if our insurance didn't cover any of it. She said the estimate is $4,000 to $5,000. Thank God for insurance. We are hoping we don't have to exceed $1500, but I think it will be even lower than that. 

Here is a list of all the medications and a short description of what they do. So far I'm on BC and Doxycycline. Tuesday starts the Lupron injections...oh joy! :

Birth Control (Cryselle) -
These pills (containing a progestin plus a small dose of estrogen) have many uses in fertility treatment. They may be used  as a contraceptive agent prior to surgery or to prevent ovarian cyst formation and synchronize egg development in IVF.

Antibiotic (Doxycycline) -
This is an antibiotic in the tetracycline family. It has many different indications for use. In fertility treatment, it may be prescribed prior to a uterine procedure or IUI therapy. It is also used after an egg retrieval in IVF.

Lupron -
It helps to prevent premature ovulation in IVF treatment, allowing more time for egg maturation.

Medrol -
This is a steroid medication used in IVF which can help pregnancy success in cases of day 3 embryo transfer. It is started on the 2nd day following retrieval and continued for 4 days. (I'm doing a 5 day transfer, but I guess it helps with that, too.)
 
Progesterone -
This medication is used to either supplement the luteal phase (the 2nd half of the menstrual cycle) or to help maintain an early pregnancy. Most patients who are taking the gonadotropins combined with IUI and all patients undergoing IVF or frozen embryo transfer will be given extra progesterone.
 
Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (unsure which one yet) -
This medication is used to cause the final steps of oocyte maturation to occur and to trigger ovulation. Ovidrel is actually a recombinant (made in the laboratory) form of human chorionic gonadotropin or hCG – the pregnancy hormone. If you take a pregnancy test within 9-10 days after taking this medication, you may have a false positive result.
 
Gonadtrofins (Gonal F) -
These medications help to stimulate the growth of ovarian follicles. They are given subcutaneously (underneath the skin) with very thin/short needles. The response to these medications is monitored by both ultrasound and blood work. Typically, a patient will use these medications daily over a 9-13 day period, though some patients may need a shorter or longer time on the medication.
 
ZPack -
A cocktail of antiobiotics
 
So as you see many of these require me shooting myself with a needle for several days. The shining light is that I won't be on all of these meds at once.  Reading the side effects have caused me enough worry, but I'm letting it all go. I am asking God that I have no side effects.
 
That's it for this week's update!
 
 

Monday, March 18, 2013

Monday, Marriage, Negativity, and Beyonce

Happy Monday good people!

I'm feeling excited and energized today. It's my last week in my current position and then I'm off for two weeks of relaxation and mind transition before the new gig starts.  I'm hoping this won't be the longest week ever.
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Over the past seven weeks my pastor has been preaching on relationships.  The series was called Unbreakable.  Yesterday was the final sermon on the topic.  There was so much good teaching going on every week.  He started out talking to singles about how to prepare themselves for marriage instead of just focusing on looking for someone.  One thing that he said, that makes so much sense to me, but I didn't do pre-marriage was to have a roommate. He said that anyone wanting to get married should not live alone.  Instead, have a roommate because living with another adult is hard and will test all of your patience. He said to live alone until we are 30+ and then to think that we will transition into sharing space with no problems is unrealistic.  I never even thought about that. In fact, I never ever wanted a roommate. I had one in college for a short while, and we were friends before we lived together and I was still annoyed.

The number one thing that really stuck out to me during the series was that "Marriage is designed to kill you," and "Marriage should be the perfect view of God's word."  Those are statements my pastor made during the 6 weeks that I won't forget. 

Marriage is designed to kill you - By this statement he means that all of our selfishness and need for self has to die off, so that Christ can rise up and be seen in us.  We are dying off as ourselves and instead creating a new "oneness" with our spouse.  That really hit home for me because I can be a selfish brat sometimes (I won't admit that to my husband).

Marriage should be the perfect view of God's word - He talked about Jesus coming to Earth and loving the Church no matter what. How even when the church wasn't doing right, Jesus loved them more, never turning away.  He likened it to God giving us the opportunity to exhibit that through marriage. That whenever our spouse is acting crazy or not loving us it means that's our opportunity to love them even more, to keep our arms open and continue welcoming them.

My summation is not nearly as awesome as the sermons were, but I hope you get my point.

I took from all this that things will happen in marriage that test our faith. It will test how much we really love Christ and believe the things he has for our lives, or are we just talking.

It has made me realize how blessed I am that God gave to me and trusted me with Mr. RFA's heart.  He has blessed me with the opportunity to honor Him by honoring my husband. To realize this is almost overwhelming. To realize this makes me feel bad when I get even a slight attitude over silly things.
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Negativity is so old, isn't it?? If not, it should be.  I've had people say some ridiculous things to me since I announced the acceptance of my new position. Of course they say things with a smile and a passive agressive attitude, but I see through straight through that to the trash it is.

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The new Beyonce song has me so dissapointed that I am actually publically saying it is garbage. This is such a huge let down to her tried and true fans. You guys know how much of a Bey stan I am, but I had to say something about this. Why is the excessive use of the B word even necessary? Oh yeah, it's NOT!  It seemed she was trying to let everyone know she's the "woman" and she's been doing this, but wait...isn't that what the song Diva pointed out, without all the cursing and lack of musical ability. And the screwed and chopped vibe just seemed so utterly out of place and ridiculous.  I hate that I hate this song so much. Why does everyone want to go through a "rachet girl" phase nowadays. Just be an adult. Ugh.

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That's it for now.  Happy Monday!


Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Goings On

I'm in a good space in life right now. There are things that I would like to be much better, but I am blessed. I look over my short life and think about the things that I have been allowed to do and experience and I know there is a God. When my husband tells me things about his life before me, and the things I've seen since we've been together, I know there is a God. We have both been greatly blessed.

My teenager is going to be 15 years old in 8 weeks. She will not let me forget it. She is on the countdown until she can get her driving learner's permit. It seems like only yesterday she was 9.  I started blogging when she was 9. It's amazing how life has changed since that time. She's such a great girl, though. Her teenage listening skills aren't as good as her childhood listening skills, but other than that I can deal with her. I'm trying to make sure I drive perfectly these days because I know she is paying more attention to things like that. The last thing I want is for her to drive poorly.

I went to the mac counter and got a makeup 101 lesson.  I purchased all the basics and I've been wearing makeup for about a week now. I've gotten my routine down to 7 minutes start to finish. I take the most time with my eyes because I want them to stand out. I'm only using nuetral tones.  When I went to the counter I specifically told them to show me how to put on make up for working hours, not after hours. I think I'm ready for some evening looks. I'm going to head back to the counter this weekend to pick out some new products and work on a smokey eye.

We went to the 2013 Cello Fest this past weekend and had a great time. Mr. RFA loves classical music...I like it, but he literally loves it. There was so much talent there...it was a pleasure to witness it and see his face light up in a new way.   My favorite performance was one of Richard Wagner's works. We used his classic "Here comes the bride" at our wedding and I just love the beauty of his compositions.  They really bring me to attention.  Mr. RFA's favorite was one of Bach's pieces. He loves him. We also used one of his pieces, "Air (on G String)" in our wedding...our Bridal party walked down to it.

Our First Anniversary is fast approaching and we are trying hard to determine where to go. Right now China, South Africa, and Alaska are in the running. We're going to take the daughter with us. I don't want to go to either of those places without letting her have the experience as well. We're going to have to get two bedroom accomodations, though...afterall, it is an Anniversary trip. :)


My husband love drop returns home today after being gone since Monday afternoon.  I hate when he is away even for a day. Tonight I'm going to welcome him home like he's been gone for a month...I'm talking welcome home signs, party music, The works!!!

What's going on with you guys??



Tuesday, March 12, 2013

TTC Tuesdays - Week 22

We went to IVF orientation last Thursday.  It was a whirlwind of information.  Over the weekend we read through everything again and got a better handle on it all.

Leaving the orientation we were like two giddy kids. It's hard to believe that I could be carrying a baby or babies in the next 6 to 8 weeks.

Just to give you an idea of some of the things we have to do to prepare:
  • Take HIV and Hep tests (both of us)
  • Get started on low dose Birth Control
  • Counsel Screen (to see if I am a carrier of any genetic disorders)
  • Take antibiotics to rid our bodies of any bugs that may be trying to fester (both of us)
  • Injectable hormones (some through stomach others through muscle in hip) 
  • Stimulation hormones (produces more egg follicles for ovulation)
  • Every other day sonograms 
  • Semen Sample for freezing in case Mr. RFA is sick or unable to produce a sample on the day of the actual procedure.
That's not even the whole list, but you get the point. There will be much poking, prodding, and everything in between over the next month.

While explaining the process, the nurse had a moment where she said, and at the 8 week mark we will bring you in for your first ultrasound so we can see and hear the baby's heartbeat and to determine how many babies are in there. I think we both let out a collective "yay" at the sound of hearing our baby's(ies) heart beat.  

So...today is CD2, which is now the start of the process. This afternoon I'm going in for my bloodwork, which will be tested for everything under the sun. Mr. RFA goes in for his blood work on Thursday.  I start birth control tomorrow morning and we both start our antibiotics on Friday.

At the orientation they gave us a sample calendar that lays out the entire process, including what medication to take on each day, whether or not I need to be in the office for an appointment that day, etc. Once my cycle came on I went ahead and filled out the calendar to fit us specifically.  It looks according to my calendar they will retrieve my eggs between April 17 - 19, and transfer two fertilized embryos into my uterus 5 days after.

We will take our first blood pregnancy test around May 4th to determine if the process worked.   Whew...I'm excited beyond belief.

Mr. RFA wants to start doing videos of our journey...I may post them here. Aaaah....so excited!

Thursday, March 7, 2013

Second in Command

I've been in my current work position for 3 years, 8 months and 1 day. I haven't been keeping daily count, but I thought it would be good to note just for today's post.

When I started, I loved the position, the people, and the work. Over time and changes, I have become increasingly more frustrated with this particular place of employement. I started forming my exit strategy around the 2 year mark. Because of the economy and other factors, I'm sure, there hasn't been much movement in the metroplex for some time now. Recently, however, a position did post. The CM of that city was fired two years ago and his Deputy CM was promoted.  From that point on I was stalking their city waiting for the Deputy position to open.  Finally...two years later it did, which brings me to now.

I was one of 110 to apply.  I made it to the first round which included a field of 8 applicants, and from there made it to the top 3, then the final applicant. Yes...I was offered the position.

Yesterday I had a long meeting the with CM where we discussed the down and dirty details of what is going in the City. She wanted to let me know that there are some serious issues there to make sure I was up for the challenge.

After the meeting, I felt great. Yes, there are operational issues, but I know I can get some things turned around and I feel like I can add value there.

I am so darn excited.

Soon after leaving yesterday's meeting I recieved a phone call with the verbal offer. Today I recieved the written offer. I countered with a couple things and they have already responded in agreement. 

I'm so excited to move to the next level of my career, and a new chapter of my "career life."

Years ago when I wrote out my "life timeline" it was around this age, 31/32, that I projected being here (in this position). Not only that, I've reached my six figure salary and perks goals as well.

It was humbling to get the offer.  I have all the confidence in the world in my professional abilities.  I know that I am good at what I do, and that I am qualified for this next position, but at times over the past year and a half, while working in a place where I felt unappreciated, I started to doubt myself.  Some days I felt like maybe I wasn't cut out for it, but that was just negativity peaking in.

On another note, if you don't believe in the power of praying and writing things down, you need to start believing. God is amazing, and like the old songs says, "He's an on-time God..."  Praying and writing in conjunction will reveal your faith and God's amazing glory to you.

I am keeping that in mind while remaining faithful in all areas of my life including, my relationship with my mother being healed, having babies, growing in my professional and personal interests, and being more obedient to God.

Wow...I'm so humbled to have been asked to be second in command, and I can't wait to help another community grow!