Growing, Learning, and Enjoying Every Part Of It.

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Change Is Good

There has been a lot of change in my life over the past year. I don’t think I really realized how much until someone pointed it out to me. I guess I had just been rolling with the punches and or crossing things off of our plan list.

Back in December I saw the recruitment announcement for my current position. I think I applied on Christmas day or the day after. It was only a few days after the announcement went public; I was an eager beaver for sure.  When I applied something told me it was MY position to have. Fast forward to March and I had gone through all interviews and was offered the position that I’d searching for over a couple of years now. I started on April 8th while in the middle of IVF treatments.

I believed in my heart that the Lord was about to bless us with a pregnancy, and to me, it was more blessing on top of my then 8 month marriage, new professional position, and wonderful relationship with my teenager.  To stand back and look, I know all of those things required much of my attention, love and nurturing. I’ve never been one to shy away from having a full plate, which is why I probably don’t notice lots of change until I’m in the midst of it, or until I’ve gotten through all of it and things have leveled out again.

I remember one day I was complaining about my commute to my sister and she reminded me how blessed my family is. She also said something she always says…she loves telling me that I think that I can rock my 5 inch heels, take over the world, raise a child, and now nurture a marriage and raise little babies while still taking over the world and raising a teen. Then she tells me to keep thinking it because I’m doing it and I do it well, so stop complaining.

I always laugh at what she says, but that day as she was saying her statement, I started to feel overwhelmed. That’s not a feeling I’m very familiar with. When I was younger and less stable, I had that feeling from time to time, but not in my recent memory. Not unless it’s being overwhelmed with joy.  That overwhelming feeling turned to a bit of nervousness. I thought to myself for a brief moment, “What are you doing?” And, “Are you doing any of it well?”

I started evaluating myself right then. And, I’ve been evaluating myself ever since.  Trying to figure out my weak areas and how I can return them strengths. I’m failing on some level in all of my categories: Wife, mother, and professional. I’m not failing where anyone else is terribly impacted…not yet, but I know that I’m not giving my best.  I track my performance decline in all of these areas to pregnancy tiredness and commuting. It sounds lame, but it’s true. Those two things take much of my energy and leave me wanting to sit, or preferably, lay down somewhere. 

These recent life changes have been great – Marriage, pregnancy, new home, new position, new life perspective…all of it. They are framing what I know to be an even better future for my family. While I’m navigating how to handle all of this change at once, I know I’m learning some great things on this journey.

I look forward to the change of being home and dedicating myself solidly to my home life. I thank God for all of these changes and I pray that I always remain conscious of what’s going on in my life, so I can see the benefit and always remain grateful!

Change is great if we approach it correctly. Yes, it’s challenging, sometimes uncomfortable, but there is growth in change. New life is in Change…Change is good!

Tuesday, September 3, 2013

A Holiday Weekend of Labor

Thank God for long weekends and short work weeks. The weekend was extremely productive, a little tiring, and all goodness. I made a weekend schedule for us and we mostly stuck to it. Pre-marriage, I always made weekend schedules to make sure I got things done, but post marriage I just go with the flow of our home life.  I sent my husband the schedule on Thursday and told him to look it over and give feedback. I stressed that it was merely a suggestion and we didn’t actually have to follow it.  To my wonderful surprise he loved it and asked that I do more of that. He said he loves when he feels like I’m keeping him on track…even if the track is my agenda and not necessarily his.  That made me happy.
So, most of the weekend was consumed with house stuff. I finally finished cleaning our master bath and closet. Organization is hard work for a pregnant lady. I got everything put away in its proper place and discovered that some of my things were missing. My honey is now banished to garage duty to find boxes with the things I am missing.
We made the final decision on our new floors. We are going with a cognac espresso hardwood.  I love the color and I think it’s going to be great with the paint color.  I almost talked myself and Mr. RFA into us getting laminate flooring instead of hardwood because of cost.  We determined that this is going to be our home for years and there is no point in short changing ourselves.  The math worked and I was just being stingy with our desires.  I can’t wait until the end of the month when installation begins…yay!
We also finally purchased family room furniture.  There were some pieces I liked and really wanted, but after our weekend trip to the stores, I changed my mind. Mr. RFA had been so focused on getting a sectional. I hated that idea. Well, I ended up eating my thoughts…I feel in love with one particular sectional and we got it. It is the perfect blend of relaxation and aesthetic beauty.  It will make our family room a great place to sit and be together.
We almost found the mosaic tile for the stair risers, but not quite. Did I mention I want to mosaic tile the stair risers?  Well I do. I just can’t find the perfect tile style. I’ve looked on HGTV, Houzz, and pinterest for inspiration and all three have left me yearning for more. Most of them look Mexican inspired, and the others are just ugly. I found only one picture that captures what is in my head, but the color scheme is off.  I need to probably take the picture to a store and ask them to give me that tile style in another color pattern. I don’t want to rush it, though. I see it how fabulous it’s going to look in my head and if I rush into something that doesn’t live up to my hype I’m going to be mad.
All door knobs have been changed. We went from those hideous gold door knobs of the 90’s on EVERY door to brushed nickel…then my husband decided brushed nickel just didn’t look good enough for him, so now we have oil rubbed bronze on every door and the new kitchen faucet.  And, we even replaced some knobs with the pull down levers for the doors…I love the look!
I got the new library all unpacked and put together. We are going to use the area as more than a library this time. We’ve decided to put a tv in there  and will also let it triple as a play area for the babies. I’m glad it’s a big space. Reading, playing, and entertainment…I think we can make it work!
In other areas of the house…Alyssa got a new dresser for her new bed, I picked out the colors for the babies’ room, purchased a new dresser for them from ikea (cute and affordable), decided on our new living room color, and Mr. RFA took down the wall paper in our kitchen.
Ok, so the wall paper in the kitchen is a quick thing I need to talk about. One day, Mr. RFA just blurted out that he thought the kitchen had wallpaper on it. I told him that it didn’t, the paint job was just ugly (a faux textured look). Sure enough he decided pick at the wall and what do you know….wall paper came up. The previous owners had faux painted OVER some wall paper. That’s just lazy and ugly.  He asked if I just wanted to paint over that paint over the wallpaper and I screamed no. LOL….so, he has finally finished and the walls look so crazy. It is like we have decided to renovate the whole house almost. He has already figured out the steps to get the walls ready for paint.  I love that my man is smart and handy!
So, it was a laborious weekend for the Labor Day holiday. Not how I’m sure it was meant to be spent, but all three of us had fun working on our house together!

I’ll have to soon post about our wonderful neighbors….they have all been so surprisingly fantastic!