Growing, Learning, and Enjoying Every Part Of It.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

Just A Little Bit...

My symptoms are not slowing down. I thought they were supposed to subside by now. On my drive home yesterday I began dry heaving and vomiting. Luckily I had an empty cup, but it was scary trying to drive on the freeway and vomit at the same time.  I didn't tell Mr. RFA because he would have been too concerned.


I have a pet bird outside of my office window. Ok, maybe pet is too strong a description. There is a little red bird that has visited me two day in a row to sing me beautiful songs.  How precious.  I remember my great Aunt Annie Lee (auntie annalee) had a pet bird the entire time I was growing up. When I was little I enjoyed walking up to his cage, but as I got older, he was just an annoying bird. It's funny how my little red friend sent me that memory.


I'm excited for he SCOTUS ruling on Doma and Prop 8, though the latter wasn't a real ruling. I think I'm more excited that it appeared that this decision really was grounded in law and not ideology. I'm still saddened by yesterday's dismissal of Section 4 of the VRA. Something must be done about that, but I'm not optimistic with the current congress.


We get to see the babies again today.  This time the doctor warned that she will also "check" me. Ugh, I remember those checks from 15 years ago, I hated them then and I'm sure I'll hate them now. But, anything to make sure the babies are doing great!


When I announced the pregnancy on FB I discovered that I have more twin mommy friends than I realized. Plenty of resources. One even told me some things, for myself, that I didn't need to buy because she would ship them to me. Yay!


We fired our realtor and have found a new one to put the house back on the market. The old realtor wasn't responding to us at all, and she was way too hands off. In addition to putting our house back on the market, we are also putting the apartment building on the market. I'm so excited because I hate the whole managing tenants headache that my husband goes through. Let's get these properties sold!


That's all I have today. What about you?

Monday, June 17, 2013

The Big Reveal!

I had a fantastic weekend.  All of my weekends are fantastic, though. It’s something about spending time doing exactly what you want to do. 
This weekend was so fantastic because we got to surprise our parents with pregnancy news and my MIL is in town.
On Thursday everyone came over to our house thinking we were only going out to dinner since my MIL and SIL and her husband were in town. We had been telling them that Mr. RFA was taking a photography/video class for fun and he had to do a project. We wanted them to see it before we left. Like most rooms full of people, they couldn’t manage to shut up and pay attention. At one point I had to yell and ask everyone to please pay attention. I told them that Mr. RFA worked long and hard on his project and they needed to be more mindful.  Everyone thought I was being the protective wife, so they obliged.
Finally we began the video and they watched and then became so super excited. We had to ask them to sit back down because the video wasn’t quite over. My mom was so excited that she waved her hand at me so hard her gigantic ring flew off her hand and onto the side of my face. Ouch.
They were so happy, which made us so happy.  Everyone flocked to me and Mr. RFA had to ask someone to hug him, lol.  I told him not to worry. They only love me now because I’m the carrier, but when the kids arrive, they won’t be thinking about either of us.
All weekend, my MIL catered to me. I kept asking her to stop, but she demanded. She didn’t want me to lift a finger. Anytime I yawned, she suggested I go lay down to get rest. It was funny.
After watching the video, Mr. RFA surprised all of us, even me, with a second video he made.  It made me cry like a baby. He documented some of the milestones of the journey.  When I took a home test because we couldn’t wait until the very next day for our blood test – praying before we went in to get my eggs retrieved – and ultrasounds!
Here are the youtube links:
Video of their reaction while watching our surprise video (It’s video in video, so try to watch both at the same time):
Surprise video without their reaction (in case it’s hard to see both):
Video of the beginning of the journey:
So, now that everyone knows we can breathe easy and stop with the whispering and secrets.

Tuesday, June 11, 2013


My mother-in-law gets into town on Thursday. She doesn’t know it, but she is in for a big surprise. We are telling her and my mother that we are expecting their newest grandbabies.  They are both going to be so happy.  My granny, who I will not bad mouth, refused to come for a visit because she has changed her mind about flying and didn’t feel like driving.  She dropped that little bomb two weeks ago, and I was upset and hurt initially. I got over it quickly. 

We decided to tell her over the phone and swore her to secrecy.  She was so happy.  Much happier than I thought. My granny is not real exciteable, but she was over the moon. We let the news of being pregnant soak in and then we hit her with, “It’s twins.”  My granny, who always has something to say, literally went silent. For like an entire 45 seconds. Mr. RFA finally said, “Granny, are you there?”  She finally uttered out a sound and said she couldn’t believe that. Then she asked when they would arrive so she could be here to help. So babies she has never even met will get her here, but not her first, and most awesome, grandchild. Shame, shame…lol.

Anyway, my sister-in-law is also coming with my MIL.  Since her and Mr. RFA are the only children these will be her first nieces/nephews.  

We have gotten them to come out here under the guise that I am having a non- invasive procedure to explore why my tubes are blocked, so we can get pregnant. They think they’re coming for support.  We feel bad for lying, but had to get them here somehow. I should have used that on my granny. 

Over the past month, however, both of our mothers have been calling us to tell us about their dreams.
My mom started it off telling me that she dreamed we were pregnant with twin boys.  She called me a couple days later to tell me she had another dream I was pregnant.  Those were before we knew what we were having. Mr. RFA joked that if we in fact do have twins, he was going to have her dream up some lotto ticket numbers for us. Lol.  Since that time, she has had more dreams and calls to tell me about them.  I just tell her to keep praying.

My mother in law started in next. She called us the morning we found out we were having twins and told us that she woke up in the night because someone whispered in her ear, “Aretha is pregnant.”  She said it was so amazing to hear those words. Then she went on to say that maybe she wouldn’t have to come in June after all because a procedure may not be necessary.  Then last week she just came right out and asked Mr. RFA if I was pregnant. He answered, sarcastically, “Yeah, Mom she pregnant. Come on...why are you asking me crazy questions?”  That was his way of loophole lying, lol.

I can’t wait to see the look on their faces.  And knowing both of them, they are both going to swear they already knew it.  Then they’ll start comparing whose dreams came first and were most accurate. They are in some type of competition with each other. It’s funny to watch.

We are going to surprise them with a fake commercial Mr. RFA is filming.  We have internet tv, so sometimes Alyssa will want to show us funny youtube videos, which leads to an hour of youtube watching.  She’s going to tell them that she has a funny video to show them and we’ll watch it…then we’ll move on to another one, which will be our “Special Delivery”video.  They’ll be watching waiting for the funny, when we will appear on the screen delivering our great news.

I’ll post the link when we’re all done.  I’m so excited.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Selling and Buying

Our house went on the market on Friday afternoon and we’ve already had 5 showings, more are scheduled for today, including a repeat visit. Hopefully that means they want to put in an offer. Homes in our neighborhood have been selling in a matter of days.  I hope we are one of those lucky families that sells in days. And, I hope we get our full asking price. I was so excited when the realtor came by and looked at the house and came out with a number $4900 higher than what I thought we could list at.  I feel so blessed that I picked a great home.  The value has increased $40k in just 3 years. Excited!

We went out on Saturday and looked at a few houses that we thought we were interested in. Turns out we didn’t like them as much in person.  I think we are both being extremely picky and may need to reassess some things.  On one hand, I understand why we are being so over the top with our requirements. Houses are a major purchase, and for the price point we are looking in, we expect certain things. However, there is no perfect house, and we need to stay level headed and remember that. 

Some things I feel like are must haves for me:
Wonderful neighborhood (well-maintained, increasing property values, majority owner occupied – few renters)
Two story entrance
High ceilings downstairs
Separate study/office
Formal dining
Game and media room (some houses have one or the other)
4 or 5 bedrooms (5 if there is only a game room)
Master bedroom and a second bedroom downstairs (some houses only have master down)
High end countertops and kitchen appliances
Backyard porch with covering
Rear or side garage entry (I don’t like garages on the front of the house)
Harwood floors and tile downstairs
Sink in Laundry Room
Walk-in closets in all rooms (that’s not hard to find)
Plenty of storage space. (I didn’t consider that in my first home…big mistake)
Curved staircase with iron and wood bars
Toilet closet in bathroom (my husband seems to want to use the bathroom every time I’m getting ready…I don’t want to see it, lol.)

Things my husband feels like he needs:
Good neighborhood
Park within ½ mile walking distance. (We have a park down our block and he has grown to expect that)
Side or front garage entry (notice we are split on this. He doesn’t like rear entry and I don’t like front, but we both like side)
Curved staircase
Study/office downstairs
Separate vanities in bathroom (he doesn’t even want to share bathroom counter space…the nerve)
Large shower in master
Grand entrance
Game and media room (he envisions the media room being his man cave, I see it as the media room for all to enjoy)
Upgrades throughout the house (crown molding in every room, fixtures, etc.)
Medium to small yard (he doesn’t want the maintenance, and because he wants to live near a park he doesn’t think the dog or kids need a big yard)

Alyssa’s wants:
A “big” room (big is something bigger than what she has now.

Of the three of us, she has the least needs.  That’s a good thing since she’s not spending any money, lol.
I think our desires are reasonable, but we may need to bend a little. I’ve already said that if the house has everything I need and the garage placement is my only hang up, I will bend.  He’s said the same thing.
Housing hunting wasn’t this difficult when either one of us was shopping for our first homes. We both new they wouldn’t be our forever homes, so I think we made sure neighborhoods were good and it was easy sailing from there.

I really hope we can find a house as soon as a contract is placed on ours. That way we can maybe close within days of each other and not have to move into temporary housing before moving into our home. One move is better than two.

It's exciting to be living these next steps with my family!

Thursday, June 6, 2013

Baby Bump News - #3

Yesterday was our first Obstetrician interview.  We got to see the babies again. They have grown a lot since the 7 week sonogram. They are developing right on target and their heart beats are perfect. The sound made me so happy. Baby A’s heart rate is 166 beats per minute and Baby B’s heart rate is 187 beats per minute. The doctor said that was good for both.  Mr. RFA doesn’t like the terms Baby A and Baby B. In his mind there is a girl and a boy in there and they have names. Oddly enough one baby’s name starts with an A and the other with a B.  He has decided to give them a celebrity mashup name…you know like Brangelina (Brad and Angelina).  He has mashed up their names, and I think it’s too cute. 

We’ve decided not to find out the sex of the babies.  I’m excited about the surprise of it all, but now I can’t buy cute gender specific clothing…boo whoo.  Well, that just means I’ll get to do more shopping after they get here.  I have an idea of a gender neutral nursery, though. I’m going to keep looking for other ideas just to make sure I don’t have décor regret. 

Back to the OB interview.  Over the course of the past three years I’ve known some pregnant women. Three of those ladies didn’t know each other and all went to the same OB and had great things to say about her during their pregnancies.  So, I remembered and decided to put her on our list. She happened to be the first, and I think I’m going to stop with her. We both liked her very much. I didn’t feel rushed. She let me ask all the questions that a parent who hasn’t gone through this in 15 years would ask. She was patient, down to earth, and comforting.  No need to keep looking for exactly what we wanted to find in the first place.

I really wanted to explore the option of vbac.  My daughter was delivered vaginally, but because I’ve had two abdominal surgeries that were just like a c-section, I’m encouraged to deliver all my future children that way.  I had my daughter naturally without any drugs and I want all my children to be delivered that way. I want them to come into the world not via surgery, but the natural way of things.  However, because my last surgery will be less than two years removed from my due date, the doctor feels it’s just too risky. I’m kind of sad, but we didn’t come this far to take unnecessary risks either. So c-section it will be.  

The doctor told us that she wants to deliver between 36 and 38 weeks depending on how the pregnancy goes. That means they could be here anytime between December 9 and December 27; unless, of course, they decide to choose their own time.  I hope they can cook in there as long as possible. I want them to be strong and healthy when they make their grand entrance into the world. It’s amazing to me that they will be here this year. Wow! 

-Today I am 9 weeks and 3 days.  According to my internet research, the babies are the size of olives.
- Symptoms: I have hiccup episodes several times per day
- I’m tired, but less than I was last week
- I burp more than I like
- I have a constant headache…ALL DAY. Suprisingly I don’t have one right now…I hope that thing is gone.
- I pee through the night and then can’t return to sleep
- I’m a nail biter (nasty, I know), but I have lost the desire. That’s a great symptom.

Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Thankful In Marriage

I don’t blog about marriage much, or at all. It’s one of those things that I told myself would be off limits to others.  We’re still newlyweds, so things are good, but I know there will come a time when things are challenging. It’s in those times that I really plan to protect my marriage.  As time goes on and whenever my sister gets into a serious relationship and ponders marriage, I will share things with her just so she can have some level of insight into what it takes (for us at least).  Neither of us saw marriages growing up. The one we did see, our grandparents, was dysfunctional. My grandma wore the pants, skirts, and shorts in that relationship. They loved and adored each other, but we both knew and still know that wasn’t the kind of marriage we wanted.  So, I do want to give a little insight when the time comes.

We were engaged when the doctor discovered that a fibroid that was left in after surgery had grown to a massive size. She didn’t feel qualified to take it out and preserve my fertility, so she suggested we find a fertility doctor who could.  My then fiancé didn’t flinch at the news. In fact, he got right on the ball doing tons of research on the best fertility doctors in the Dallas area. His research led him to US News and World Report where he found two potential doctors.  He went with me to interview them, helped me make my decision, and then he attended every single doctor’s appointment I had and was there when I went back for surgery and when I awoke from my drug induced slumber.  From that time to current day, I haven’t gone to one doctor’s appointment alone.   

In the beginning of our relationship, we discussed children. I told him that I wanted more, and he told me that he also wanted kids. My husband didn’t have any children at that time and I knew how much he wanted the fatherhood experience.  And, I knew how absolutely awesome he would be at it.   Naturally, I think, when I found out about the massive fibroid and my doctor’s reluctance to treat me, I was so afraid that maybe he had chosen the wrong woman to love and marry because what if I couldn’t give him children. I didn’t share that with him until we got our positive pregnancy result. He just looked at me and shook his head. He said he knew he had chosen the right woman and that he never lost faith.  I love that man.  

When we did IUI and it failed, that was another blow for me, but my husband remained strong.  When we had the HSG test and they said my tube was blocked on the side from which I always ovulate, again I felt a bit defeated, but he hugged me tight and told me that knowing the problem meant we were that much closer to the solution. 

He was great through the ivf  process, though my hormones told me he could have been better, lol. And he is being great now that I’m suffering from some “real” symptoms. I say that to say that I am blessed to have him in my life. I am blessed that when I was wavering he was strong and reminded me who was in control – neither him nor I, but the Lord. 

I remember when I would pray for my future husband, I would ask God that he was being prepared for me and that he would be able to deal with me. I asked that he be strong, much stronger than I was because I wanted to fall back from my “Independent black woman, hear me roar” perception that most single mothers are tagged with. I asked for someone with good character and outstanding judgment.  That’s exactly who God sent.  I just hope that each day I can be the woman my husband prayed for God to put in his path.