Growing, Learning, and Enjoying Every Part Of It.

Friday, June 29, 2012

Selfish

Since being engaged a lot has happened in my life. Much more than simply being dizzy with love.  I’ve learned so much about people and myself.  I’ve learned that the patience I’ve been praying for God to give me all those years is actually here. I have an impressive level of patience compared to my younger self.

The most disheartening thing I’ve learned is that people, even those who love you lots, are simply and purely selfish.  People easily say that weddings are about the bride and groom, but rarely have I seen anyone’s actions reflect that sentiment.  From our mothers to our best friends, they have all at some point in this process made it about them.

My future MIL prides herself on being a wedding coordinator of sorts since she’s done so many for people at her church.  When I first told her my original colors (since changed) she told me that they were Fall colors and shouldn’t be used in the summer.  I, very politely, told her that I like the colors and wasn’t concerned about the season so much as what I like.  Let’s just say my rejection of her suggestion led to a whole thing that left me feeling sad, mad, and ready to scream.  All is well now, thankfully.

Next, my very own mother feels like every suggestion she gives me should be taken and if not it must mean that I am rejecting her as a mother. Can we say drama queen?  The worst of it, though is that she begged me to go dress shopping before I was ready, and I agreed.  It turned out that on that first trip I found MY dress.  She convinced me that we should go to at least one other place before I make the purchase.  I agreed.  We went to a second place the next week and I saw another dress that I thought could be the one.  I was torn, so we ran back to the original store to try on the one I first loved.  When I put it back on, I just knew it was MY dress.  She was upset and told me that I needed to get the other one because she liked it better. Fast Forward several weeks and the dress arrives for my first fitting. She asks to come along, and I agree.  I put on the dress and go stand on the pedestal to check out the fit for any needed alterations.  That’s when she felt it appropriate to tell me that she really liked the other dress better.  Yep, right there as I was smiling and enamored with my dress, she was ready and willing to burst my bubble with her own preference.

My best friends (I have 3) have been at it since the engagement. One friend knew the engagement was going to happen because my fiancé wanted to see if she’d like to be there for the surprise (I’ll have to give you the engagement story one day).  She decided to tell one of the others, but not both. Then immediately after the engagement, when the ring was on my finger and I had a minute to breath, I did what any 2012 31 year old would do – I posted the announcement and picture to facebook.  Best friend that knew felt the need to leave comments letting everyone know that she knew something they didn’t know.  This pissed off best friend that didn’t know. They’ve been in an ugly place ever since.

Keeping with the best friend theme, I asked all of my bmaids to bring their dress and shoes with them when they were to come for the bridal shower…well, one best friend didn’t come and another didn’t bring her dress or shoes.

Wait, I’m not done with this best friends thing. One of them decides that as a part of my Bachelorette festivities we should spend two hours at a strip club. Let me clarify, a male review. Do you hear the sarcasm, either way naked men shaking their things a day before my wedding isn’t exactly appealing to me.  All of this was supposed to be a surprise, but it came out and I informed my sister (Maid of Honor) to have the best friend take it off the agenda.  Long story short, the best friend spent way too much money on reserving space for my bachlorette group at the venue, wanted me to reimburse her non refundable payment, and was upset that it was something I’m not into.  Maybe if I was 19 or even older, single, and at a bday bash or something, but for the night before my wedding…no. Having a stripper to celebrate my upcoming union…I just don’t get the thought process behind that.

I haven’t even gotten to the issues my fiancé has had with his best man. 

The bottom line is that people can’t  let go of what they want for the sake of what the happy couple wants. And, it’s foolish if I keep expecting them to. It will always be a losing battle. Most of us are just plain selfish.  I just hate that it took this happy step in my life to learn this lesson.

~ Blissfully Yours

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Readings

Now that all the big deets have been handled for the wedding, we are on to the small things that really tie it all together.  Today my task is determining the Reading that will take place during our Sand Ceremony.  I’ve seen bible verses, poems, and book excerpts that I simply adore.  Why then can’t I make a decision.  They are all too good.  I wish we could have 5 readings…wouldn’t that be awesome?? Ok, maybe not.  My oh so wonderful fiancé who wants to get the show on the road, has only agreed to one reading, so I really have to make it count.

While trolling the internet (like any good wedding planning bride-to-be) I discovered that people were using passages from books.  I sat for a minute and tried to recall any books that made a mark on me in the way of love.  Quickly, I thought of The Alchemist.  That book did so much for me.  Not just about love, but simply about living and trying to find and fulfill one’s destiny.  I got so excited and started googling to see if there were any other brides who had used a passage from that inspiring novel.  There were more thinkers like me…jackpot!

Here is the passage – I tweaked it a bit (replaced Universe with God).

When he looked into her eyes, and saw that her lips were poised between a laugh and silence, he learned the most important part of the language that all the world spoke -- the language that everyone on earth was capable of understanding in their heart. It was love. Something older than humanity, more ancient than the desert. She smiled, and that was certainly an omen -- the omen he had been awaiting, without even knowing he was, for all his life. The omen he had sought to find with his sheep and in his books, in the crystals and in the silence of the desert.
It was the pure Language of the World. It required no explanation; just as God needs none as He travels through endless time. What the boy felt at that moment was that he was in the presence of the only woman in his life, and that, with no need for words, she recognized the same thing.
 He was more certain of it than of anything in the world. He had been told by his parents and grandparents that he must fall in love and really know a person before becoming committed. But maybe people who felt that way had never learned the universal language. Because, when you know that language, it’s easy to understand that someone in the world awaits you, whether it’s in the middle of the desert or in some great city.
 And when two such people encounter each other, and their eyes meet, the past and the future become unimportant. There is only that moment, and the incredible certainty that everything under the sun has been written by one hand only. It is the hand that evokes love, and creates a twin soul for every person in the world. Without such love, one’s dreams would have no meaning.

I just love everything about this passage. Especially the part about knowing love means you know someone in the world is awaiting you.  My fiancé and I were dating for 6 months when he proposed and to some that is far too fast, but for us we knew a few weeks into it that we were the people we had been waiting for.  To experience that feeling is to have love and give love in return – it is a remarkable step in life.

~ Blissfully Yours

Monday, June 18, 2012

Life Happens

I almost titled this post - New Life Happens.  I feel like my life is entirely new since this time last year. In the midst of simply living my life and trying to enjoy all of the moments, I met a man. A wonderful, smart, handsome man who will soon become my husband.

Since our engagement in February, I've been a busy wedding planning bee. Let me just tell you, I'm not 'bout this wedding planning life, lol. It is not for the faint of heart.  It takes some commitment, patiences, and at times vodka.

We are now on the 47 day countdown and I can finally see the wedded bliss light at the end of the tunnel. After going back and forth on bridesmaid dresses, color schemes, reception locations, number of invited guests, centerpieces, and anything else you can think of, we have finally firmed up all the big details.

Unlike the begginning of this process where my days were filled with frustration, I am now in constant happy bride mode.  I can finally breathe easy and simply look forward to seeing my groom at the end of the aisle in wait of me.

I'm going to savor every moment of this step in life...I'm loving it right now!

~ Blissfully Yours