Growing, Learning, and Enjoying Every Part Of It.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Ugliness

I did something some ugly yesterday that it is still weighing on me.
 
 
There is an employee that works for my company.  I used to supervise her, but after two years of headaches , I carefully found a way to have her reorganized from under my purview.
 
 
This person and I have a mutual dislike for each other.  However, I continue to be polite, I speak to her every morning even though she rarely, if ever (in grunt form only), responds.
 
 
She has been out of the office for over a month with medical mobility issues.  She also lives in the neighborhood across the thoroughfare from mine.  And, she has no family here.
 
 
I haven’t once called her and asked if she needed anything despite the proximity of our homes.
 
 
Yesterday I had to take my daughter to CVS to pick up some writeable CD’s.   As I pulled into the parking lot I saw a car that looked like the woman’s, and she immediately fell on my mind.  As I was pulling around to find a parking space I saw right into the CVS and she was standing there: one crutch under her arm, the other in the cart, looking fragile.
 
 
My first thought was that I had to get out and offer to do her shopping for her so she could sit down, but then a wave of “but, I don’t want to” came over me and it won.
 
 
I sent my daughter into the store alone just so I could avoid having to make contact with the woman and offer my assistance.
 
 
It bothered me all night and it has carried over into today.  I was so ashamed of myself I didn’t even want to tell my husband.  I finally told him this morning and he agreed that it was wrong, but he tried to make me feel better about it and told me that we all let ugliness win sometimes, but to try to do better moving forward.
 
 
As much as I don’t care for that woman, I still can’t believe I didn’t offer to help her while she was clearly in need of help.
 
 
This just further shows me that I have a long way to go. No matter how ugly I think that woman has been to me, I am worse because ignored my first thought (Which could have only been God) and chose to be ugly on purpose.
 
 
I can’t let ugliness win again…ever.
 
~ Blissfully Yours
 

 

4 comments:

Ginae said...

a good reminder for us all...you still have time to redeem yourself though. You can still see if she needs anything if its weighing on you that much. If its any consolation at least it is still bothering you. Some people would have cut their eyes at her, not given if a second thought, and kept it moving.

AMES said...

On the bright side, your conscience is working. When you do an ugly thing and feel no remorse is when problems of the heart and mind begin.

You saw her and like Ginae said, you can do better in the future.

When I was in h.s. there was a girl I did not know but could not stand. One day I had trouble with a contact and got my sister. My sister (barely knew the girl) knew the girl wore contacts and got the girl. The girl left class to help us.

The girl became a great friend to us. We were neighbors and she started taking me home 2x a week. She went to college in Atl and every time we went to Atl. she was the first person we saw. She showed us the Atl we wanted to see. She is back here now and I do not like to visit Atl, now that she is not there. It is not the same.

Sometimes the people you cannot stand become great friends.

Bliss said...

Thanks for the encouragement and, Ames thanks for your personal experience perspective.

I will be ready to act right the next time.

lifeisfullofsunnydays said...

It is a harder battle to do for those who are unkind to us. I must confess that I did picture you hiding out in your car and chuckled.